1. Always
follow your gut! Don't ever go against your intuition. Most of the time
when you feel bad about a situation or environment it is usually for good
reasons. Don't try to talk yourself out of this feeling. If the guy
next to you is sending off "bad vibes," that is a higher power
telling you something. If a neighborhood is making you feel uncomfortable
don't tell yourself you're overreacting. There have been several stories
of people calling on suspicious people or cars (before anything illegal occurs)
and turns out they were actually up to no good. Police officers would
much rather you call them about something that is making you feel uncomfortable
rather than waiting for something bad to happen. A police officer once told me, "Women
have the best intuition and I will certainly never got against a mother."
2. Be aware!
The women who are targeted for random acts are picked by the way they carry
themselves. Criminals look for women who are looking down at their shoes,
texting on their phone and fiddling with their keys. When you're in a
parking lot or something where there is not a lot of traffic but you need to
get to your car, walk with a purpose! Before you start to your car have
your key in hand ready to use. Look around and make eye contact with every
individual you see. It is probably even the best if you feel uncomfortable
about somebody you talk to them. Talk about the whether, comment on how
much you like their shoes ect. You have now seen them and can pick them
out in a crowd. You can even
pretend to talk to somebody on your phone.
As your are passing a person tell "the person on the phone"
where you are and to expect you to be home in 5 minutes (or actually call
somebody on the phone as you walk to your car).
3. Be aware of
the vehicles around your car. Be careful about getting into your car if a
large van with dark windows is suspiciously sitting there. There have
been situations where women have been pulled into vans that are next to their
cars. Try to wait it out, get somebody
to walk you to your car (a bag boy, coworker, ect) or sneak through the
passenger side.
4. Don't share
too much on Facebook (this includes all social media sites). I'm not talking
about pictures or videos of you and your kids. I'm taking about statuses
that are asking for something bad to happen. Don't tell Facebook when you
won't be home. I know that it's fun to give your friends a countdown of when
you will be leaving on your vacation. I know it's fun to show pictures of
your vacation while sun bathing in Florida 6:30 and don't come home until 7 at night. I'm so tired!" Well thank
you for telling me when I can break into your home with no disturbances. Do you trust every single one of your
facebook friends with your most valuable possessions?
5. Try really
hard not to have a routine! Smarter criminals will do their research. If you
have a routine they will know when you're walking down that street by
yourself. They know when you're gone, when you're home, when you're home
alone ect. Try shaking things up, leave the house 10-15 minutes early a couple
of times, or leave just a little bit late (if you can spare some time).
Take a different route (if you're waking/riding your bike). Don't always run
the same run. If you anything schedule
make sure that you are changing it up.
My son and I go to various activities during the week. Sometimes I shake
things up and go late, go early, go to a different time slot, don't go at all
ect.
6. Educate your
children! Tell your kids all of the basic stranger danger material, but go
beyond that. Make sure they know to never leave an establishment under no
circumstance without you. Some creepy people will use the tactic of
"your mother is hurt, come with me!" Educate your kids on what
to do if something bad happens. What happens if somebody grabs them or
their sibling? Tell them what to do if somebody were to attack you. If
you get attached in a parking lot. Your kids should get into the car and lock
the doors and honk the horn until help comes. Teach them how to dial 911
and when to do so. I understand having locks on your phone but your older
children should know how to use your phone. Most phones allow you too
call 911 even if they don't have the passwords, but make sure.
7. Don't let
your kids make you oblivious! Be super careful when you're putting your kids in
the car. While your harnessing your struggling baby safely in their carseat
you're completely oblivious to the world around you. I know it's tough
but make sure you look up every once in awhile. If you have older kids make
them tell you if somebody is coming up. Don't scare them, say something
like "can you tell me when somebody is coming so I can be nice and smile
at them". Your kids will most likely take this as a
game and will inform you of any strangers.
8. Don't think
you're safe because you're in a populated area. Don't let yourself become
relaxed on your supervision because you think you're safe. Children get
abducted in grocery stores, crowded parks and parking lots. Just a few
years ago it was all over the news that a mother went to go put her cart away
and she came back to a missing baby. I can't imagine that feeling. If the
cart rack is far away, be THAT person. Don't you dare leave your baby.
There are a couple of solutions. If it's hot outside, you should never
leave your baby in the car. You take the baby with you while you return the
cart (this is honestly the best tactic). However, on mild days you do
have the option to lock your baby safely in their car seat and RUN to return the cart. Lock your door and
keep your eye on your vehicle the entire time!
When your
grocery shopping don't ever stop looking at your baby. If you have to turn your
back to grab something make sure you have a hand on your baby (not just your
cart). One scary crime is when people work in groups. One person
will distract you while the other commits the crime (steals your purse or
child). If somebody you don't know comes up to talk to you and makes
random conversation keep an eye on your belongings. Keep a hand on your baby
not just your cart. That reminds me, ladies stop leaving your purses
unattended in your carts! And stop leaving valuable possessions in your car in
plain view. I could have stolen many purses by now. People don't usually go
into Winco, Walmart ect. thinking "I am going to steal a purse
today." But if the opportunity presents itself then they will! Same goes for abductions, rapes, theft from
vehicles and homes and so on.
Parks are
really dangerous. I am not telling you to not bring your kids to the park. Somebody couldn't pay be enough to stay
inside all day! My son and I go to the park all the time and I will continue to
do so when I have more children. However, it is very important for parents to
not go to only socialize with other moms.
Make sure that your time with other mom's isn't masking your ability to
watch your children. This is where
multi-tasking is essential to the safety of your children. Also tell your children they HAVE to stay in
the designated play area. They may not
under any circumstances go into the trees, head back to the parking lot or go
around the corner. An abduction is
highly unlikely to occur by snagging your kid off of the slide. Most park abductions are when the parents
lose sight of their children, because they chase a puppy into the trees. Or they follow a group of kids away from the
play yard. Then the mom looks up and
notices that their child is missing. It's always hard when you have multiple
children, because they won't all be in the same place at the same time. Tell your kids they have to wave for you and
get your attention every once in awhile. Keep your mom guard on at all times. Look around and see which adults are just
sitting there watching the children. You
will be surprised of how many adults are watching children that don't have
children. Make sure you decide who the
cute old man is who is just relaxing on a beautiful day and enjoys watching the
beautiful children while he is thinking about his children and grandchildren.
Then there is the creepy man (or woman) who is paying particular attention to
one specific child (that is not hers).
Inform the mother of the child and if it's your child LEAVE! Tell your children that you know of a better
park you are going to go
to. Quickly gather your children and don't let
your eyes off of the creepy person. Even
if they are no threat, it's better safe then sorry.
9. Ready to
hate me?! Women with pony tails actually get assaulted more than women who keep
their hair down. I always keep my hair
in a pony tail and so when I saw this study it really hit home. When I would go into the prison, or in a
dangerous environment due to my job I would keep my hair down. If I was around inmates I would always
straighten my hair and let it flow. Men will actually target women if they have
pony tails, because they know with one grip they have full control of you! If you are feeling uncomfortable don't be
afraid to let that hair down. It's
easier to get away if he has a little grasp of your hair.
10. Ready to
hate me even more?! Take those family decals off of your cars! I know what you
are thinking, "I drive a mini-van, people are obviously going to know that
I have children." That is very
true. However, my dad drives a van (no kids in toe). A van doesn't always necessarily mean you
have little children. BUT when you tell
the world you are in possession of three little girls and a baby it's just
dangerous. Now, I (a really creepy
pedophile) know that you have girls. I will wait by your car. I might even follow
you home. Same goes for those "Baby
on Board" stickers. These stickers
are not meant to tell drivers to drive safer around them, but they are meant to
tell emergency vehicles that you have a baby on board and to save the baby
first. I obviously want my baby to be
saved first. But, then everybody else
knows you have a baby!
11. Know how to
protect yourself! Every woman should
take a self defense class. They offer
them everywhere and most are pretty cheap.
I have take several self defense, karate and Jui-jitsu. I am no expert, but even with a little bit of
knowledge I have more confidence to protect myself and my family. I don't mean to scare you, but sometimes you
can do whatever you can and still be attacked (this is the reality). But you need to know what to do. If you put up a fight, they WILL get
frustrated. If you are loud, they WILL
get scared. Most of the time you will
not be dealing with any professional and so they will get spooked. Scream to the top of your lungs help! Do whatever you can and DO NOT GO WITH
HIM!!! If he says, "come with me if
you want to live" you do not go with him.
If you go with him there is little to no chance of survival. I took a
self defense class that you scream, "the crime scene happens
here!" I know it sounds silly, but
you have more chance of survival and if you put up a fight you have more chance
of the attacker to leave behind evidence to find them.
12. Don't
advertise your new possessions! My
favorite thing is when I am driving down the road and I see a huge television
box near somebody's garbage. Well now I
know somebody has a brand new television. I can then determine that they most
likely have other nice things (depending on the quality of the television) and
then I know who's house I am going to target.
My other favorite thing is when women brag about their new jewelry and
tell each other how much it is. You go
ahead and brag away! However, the random man at the grocery store who is
suspiciously interested in your ring might not be the right person to tell that
your ring is 25 billion carrot gold and is worth 45 gazillion dollars. I have been known to tell people my ring is
fake when they seem a little too interested.
You do have to swallow your pride and not care what other people think,
but it's better than having somebody try to physically take it from you.
13. That
reminds me! Give them whatever they ask for! Do not put up a fight! If somebody
asks for your wallet you just give it to them.
They will try to use your cards (which you will have already canceled
and then they will be found). They will
have tried to sell your cell phone (that's fine it's not worth your life). If they are stupid enough to use your cell
phone the company can find them and if not you can delete your service. The hardest thing is your keys. Now you have to change all of your
locks. No physical possession is worth
your life. If they ask for you child,
now that is a different story. You fight
till you drop and tell your kids to run!
14. Be careful when you are driving with your
windows down! I know it's beginning get
a little warmer and it's nice to have those windows down. When I was in high school I loved rolling
down my windows and listening to music.
I was going through a neighborhood and I stopped at a stop sign and a
young adult smiled at me and said, "oh heyyy!" I drove away and I started investigating the
danger of having windows down. That boy
could have easily jumped into my car, pulled a weapon on me, or unlocked my
door and pulled me out. What if I would
have had kids at the time and he pulled me out of the vehicle? If you would like to have your windows
down...GO FOR IT! But be cautious of the neighborhood around you. If you are
parked at a red light make sure there is about 15-20 feet between you and the
next car so if somebody were to come up then you have the chance to drive away.
15. Don't
listen to music when you run/be careful! I can't tell you how many crimes occur
from women going on jogs that have their music blasting in their ears. I don't like running without music either,
but you have to know when and where it is safe.
Never listen to your music if you are running off the beaten track. Do not listen to your music at dark or early
in the morning. You have no idea what is
happening around you. Women get pulled
into bushed and surprised from behind because they have no idea somebody is
behind them. Running on a track while
people are having soccer practice is a more acceptable location to listen to
your music at an appropriate volume.
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